I Don't Drink.... Wine

Two days ago I did something I had been wanting to do for 20+ years and had never been able to do: I gave blood.

I remember being back in high school and there would be blood drives and I was always so disappointed that I wasn't old enough to donate. Once I became old enough, I found out I didn't weigh enough. (Yes, I know, everyone should be lucky enough to have that problem.) I once even went down to a drive they were having at the mall I worked at in the hopes that maybe now I met the requirement. They took one look at me, after I had been sitting there for a while, and said "I don't think you weigh enough." I'm pretty sure they even weighed me to double-check, and sure enough I got rejected. But then I saw the church I'm interning at was hosting a blood drive and I decided this was my year.

Why have I felt it so important to give blood? I couldn't honestly tell you. I guess maybe I've always wanted to help where I could, and giving blood is so easy. It's something that is needed, it costs nothing, and the miracle of the human body means that whatever I give is replenished within a short amount of time (according to giveblood.org it takes about a month). Someone's life can be saved for two hours out of my day. The better question is why wouldn't you want to give?

I was told that a lot of people are nervous before they give for the first time, but not me. I was so excited. My mom likes to donate every year around her birthday (which is in the beginning of December) so when I told her Asbury was doing a blood drive she decided to put it off for a few weeks and we would go together. We ended up being walk-ins, but since neither one of us had anything planned for the day other than watching General Hospital and going to the movies to see Spectre later that night, we certainly didn't mind waiting. If you've never donated, when you go there's some tests they have to do to make sure you're able to give, such as an iron count, pulse, and blood pressure.  I must be a very lucky person because I don't eat as well as I should and I don't exercise as much as I should but my numbers were great. "Whatever you're doing, keep it up!" Yes, coffee and cookies! (I've been eating a LOT of sugar lately.) Finally I got to a table and laid down. There was a little difficulty finding my veins and I was told I have small veins (as does my mom) but before I knew it they stuck me with a needle and I started squeezing. Seven and a half minutes later I was done. I slowly sat up, somebody consistently making sure I felt okay. I slowly made my way over to the cookie and juice table, partly to be cautious and partly because I was feeling like I do when I haven't eaten in a while: just a little off, shaky, and light headed. I sat down and drank a juice and started on some mini Oreo's, chatting away with a congregation member who was helping to run the drive, and then..... I started feeling more and more light-headed and I got really warm. I started to put my head down, since you hear that's what one should do when one is about to faint, and Ed noticed I was not okay. He calmly got someone over to me who calmly moved me to this chair that tips back and he rolled me off to the side and lay me and the chair on the floor. Cold, wet paper towels were placed on my head and neck and I was told to cough a couple times so the blood could get moving. Yep, folks, I almost passed out after giving blood. I guess there always has to be someone, right? Truthfully, I had a feeling I would be "that person" going in to the situation, so I wasn't panicky or even really all that surprised. It didn't take long for me to feel better and after chugging half a bottle of water, eating the rest of my Oreo's, and sitting and talking, I was ready to go. Now, the part they don't tell you is how you'll feel for the rest of the day. Walking up the stairs in my mom's house just about took me out. I was so out of breath that you would think I had been sick and laid up for days. I guess it makes sense since they take a pint of blood out of you. I was exhausted by about 6 that night, and even the next day taking my laundry to and from the basement winded me more than usual. Now, if you ask my mom, the reason I almost passed out is probably because I still don't weigh enough. Truthfully, I have no idea how much I weigh, so this may be true, but I did it. I donated blood and helped to save lives.

So my New Year's wish on this 31st of December 2015 is this: if you have a chance and are healthy enough to, please give blood. It's not scary and in the grand scheme of things it doesn't take a lot of time. Did I mention the free cookies and T-shirt? If you're not sure where or when, check out redcross.org  for more information. And along those same lines, consider being an organ donor. If you know me, you know this is something I have talked about many times in the past. When my dad died they were able to take skin, tissue, and corneas and give them to someone else. Someone else got a chance at a better life because of my dad, and what greater gift is that? I am an organ donor and I've made sure everyone around me knows this so that if anything happens to me there is no question: use what you can to save someone else. I don't need it. I'm dead. Go to donatelife.net  for more information.

With all that being said, please have a safe and happy New Year. I'll see you in 2016!!!!

My FREE T-shirt!!

The Perfect Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Greetings my readers and happy holidays. I hope you all had the Christmas you were hoping for.

So, I knew I wanted to do a post-Christmas blog but I wasn't sure what sort of direction I wanted to go in it. Today as I was talking with people at church about how our Christmases were, the idea of "the perfect Christmas" came to me. What does that mean? Can we ever truly have a Christmas that doesn't come with mistakes or where things fall short of what we wanted? Does the perfect Christmas look the same year to year, or does it change based on how that year has gone for you and/or what your plans are?

If you ask me, I had the perfect Christmas. Everything did not go smoothly (I started one service five minutes early and set my bulletin on fire at another, for example) but it was perfect for me. For the first time in years I did not have to work Christmas Eve or early the day after Christmas. This was also the first time I've experienced five Christmas Eve services. No, that is not a typo. We had five services at my Supervised Ministry church. And I loved it. Christmas is one of my favorite times of year and the Christmas Eve service is always a highlight for me, so I think the fact that I got to have multiple services and share Christmas with that many people was great. Speaking of church services, all three of my sisters came to the 4:00 children's pageant service.

My family taking up an entire pew

I literally cannot remember the last time all four of us girls were in church at the same time, and to make it even better all my nieces and three of my four nephews were there as well. Asbury has become such an important part of my life that I was very excited to share my church with them. (And did I mention the whole favorite service thing?) I even went to church on Christmas day, which was a first for me. It was a great casual, low-key service filled with readings and carols, and a perfect way to start off Christmas day. Well, I guess technically the start of my day would be watching one of my nephews open his presents since one sister stayed at my apartment on Christmas Eve.

The rest of Christmas day was spent at my mom's watching Christmas movies, eating, and napping. Mom made her traditional lasagna (so good....I can never make a lasagna as good as she does). It was great to just relax and be with family, because after all isn't that what Christmas is all about really?

I watch a lot of TV and movies and they seem to set a standard on what Christmas should look like. Everyone wears pretty clothes and gathers for dinners and parties. There's kissing under the mistletoe and sledding or ice skating (not here, thank you 65 degree Christmas Eve), fancy turkey dinners are eaten by several generations of relatives, that one embarrassing relative does their thing, and the one grumpy person finds the meaning and spirit of Christmas as everyone gathers around the fire for a carol sing or a reading of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. Or some variation of this scenario. But I find, at least in my life, that's not really what it looks like. AND THAT'S OKAY. My perfect Christmas may have sounded boring to some of you. Some of you may have wished that was your Christmas and for some of you maybe that's what your Christmas looked like too. We shouldn't put such pressure on ourselves to make the holidays look like something unauthentic to who we are and how our family lives. We shouldn't try to make Christmas look like it did when we were kids or even look the way it did the previous year. Yes, we all have traditions that carry us through year to year, but there are still going to be things that are different than before. Figure out what's important to you, what you need to feel the Christmas spirit. I have a friend who wasn't going home for Christmas and she chose, despite many invitations, to stay home alone and just have a day to be alone and relax and just be. That was a perfect Christmas for her at this time in her life. Don't compare your Christmas to any other Christmas. That's not what it's about.

So now, I'll ask you,and really think about your answer: did you have a perfect Christmas? I bet if you really think about it, you'll realize the answer just may be yes.

My love of Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas Movies

I am a horrible blogger. In my attempt to do blogmas I went a whole two days in a row before I stopped. But in my defense, I had a lot going on this weekend. I'm back now, and hey, it's my blog so I guess I can do whatever I want!

So, today's Blogmas topic is on cheesy made-for-TV Christmas movies. I love them. Love. Them. When I stopped being able to afford cable it was the one thing I missed most aside from Shark Week. The highlight of my Christmas season would be spending time at my mom's (who has cable) and binge watching movie after movie. Last year I discovered that I could buy some of these movies on DVD and that Netflix carries some of these movies. Heaven had been found.

Why do I love these movies so much? I'm not sure. They're predictable. They all follow a similar formula and you know after the first five minutes what is going to happen and how they will end. And I'm okay with that. Look, I love movies that make me think. I love twisty-turny movies. But during the holidays there's usually so much else going on that you need to put your brain on a timeout for a bit. And because they don't require a lot of focus, they're great to put on in the background while you're baking cookies or wrapping presents. When my sisters and I are at my mom's we can still have a conversation while one of these movies are on and not worry about missing any of the plot. Perfect. Shoot, I'm watching Christmas in Boston right now! (An ABCFamily movie from 2005)

Now, I do have a collection of regular Christmas movies that I also love. No Christmas is complete without Elf or The Ref or Polar Express. But if I can't also fit in Holiday in Handcuffs or 12 Men of Christmas then it wasn't a good Christmas. Maybe it's because everything turns out happy and right in the end, whether the lead couple finally fall in love or get married or the kids believe in Santa Claus or whatever the plot is. (Okay, usually it's the whole love thing. Cut a girl some slack.) My poor step-dad doesn't get it and to him they all blend in together. He's been known to leave a room and walk back in a couple hours later asking, "Is this movie still on?!" My mom's usual response: "Oh no, this is a new one!" But love them I do, and I am not ashamed. I know I'm not alone. What's your favorite cheesy Christmas movie? Let me know!

O Christmas Tree

This Christmas the bane of my existence has been my Christmas tree.
Or more specifically, my sister's cat Puck and his relationship with my Christmas tree.

He only looks sweet and innocent

Backstory: when I moved in to my studio apartment a few years ago I knew that the six foot fake tree I had would not fit so I got rid of it during the move and at Christmas I bought a two foot pre-lit tree. It's the perfect size for my space and the last two Christmases it has sat on an end table pretty much ignored by my cats. This year however.... I no longer have that end table because my desk now sits in that spot. The desk is designed for small spaces so there is just enough room on top for my laptop and my printer (no Christmas tree). So this year I decided to put my tree on a stool from my dining set in roughly the same spot as it has been the past two years. I took the tree out of the box and it's missing one of its feet. Okay, speed bump, but luckily one of my school books is an almost perfect size for the tree to rest on where the third foot would be. However, this does mean that the least amount of pressure on the tree makes it start twisting and moving. Problem number one. The stool and/or the floor are not straight. The stool wobbles a bit and I know the floor is crooked so there is not a stable surface for the tree to rest on. Problem number two. Now we get to the cat. More brief backstory: I have been fostering my sister's cat for her since August while she waits to get her own place. So don't you know, Puck has now decided the best thing for a late-night snack is my tree. Problem number three.

I can't tell you how many times I have woken up in the middle night to hear Puck chewing on the needles and then the tree falling over. I've only come home a couple times to the tree being knocked over. This means I can't catch him in the act to spray bottle water in his face to try to discipline him. Instead, almost every night, I've had to crawl out of bed to pick up the tree and all the ornaments that

Every night.

have fallen off, put the tree back up, place the ornaments in a pile, and try to get a little more sleep before Rocky (one of my other cats) decides I should get up and starts meowing in my face. In my tired frustration I even found myself just this morning telling Puck "You've practically ruined Christmas you know!" More than once I've had the thought: "I should just not have a tree this year."

But I go on. Every morning I get up, feed the cats, put away the dishes, and start my coffee. While it brews I redecorate the tree. Luckily it's a small tree with not a lot of ornaments on it. But I was thinking the other day that there must be a lesson in this. It would be easy to just pack away the tree and ornaments and wait until next year. It would be easy to not decorate it so I wouldn't have to go through with putting them back on almost every day. But I don't. A Christmas tree makes me happy. I have so many fond memories of decorating the tree as a kid. We always had a real tree and Dad was in charge of stringing the lights (accompanied by a lot of cursing). We had those big colored bulbs that you can't really find any more. And then we would get to put on the ornaments. All the ornaments that we girls had received from our Grandma over the years. The Baby's First Christmas ornaments. The ones that were family heirlooms. I love when you turn all the lights off and there's nothing but the flow of the tree lights. Christmas day was the one day of the season we would turn the lights on first thing in the morning and leave them on all day, a tradition I still carry on today. So much like the tree, any time I feel knocked down, I need to pick myself up and shine just as bright, no matter how many times it happens. I can still stand tall, even if my foundation is a bit wobbly and I need a little bit of support.

It's The Most Loneliest Time of the Year....Or Is It?

I'm sure this is just what the world needs, another blog on being single at the holidays. But since I'm trying to do this Blogmas thing (where you blog every day before Christmas...sue me, I started really late), here are my thoughts on the situation: It doesn't completely suck.

I know I know. Gasp! What?! A single woman during the holidays is not sad and lonely and depressed?! Well, for the most part, no I'm not. Look, I can literally count on one hand exactly how many times I've had a boyfriend during the holiday season. And still have fingers left over. So, it's not like there's a montage of all the cute holiday coupley things I've done in the past replaying every year as I break out the Christmas decorations. In fact, it's been so long since I've been a we instead of a me that any memories I have are pretty fuzzy at this point. So, suffice it to say, I do not spend every night between Thanksgiving and New Year's sitting on my couch watching cheesy Christmas movies crying in to my spiked hot chocolate.

There's actually, if you think about it, a lot of benefits to being single during this time of year. There's no pressure to get my man the most perfect gift that will make him Instagram #bestgirlfriendever. I don't have to worry about being dragged to parties with people I don't know or being forced to spend awkward family time with people who I'm not sure if they even really like me. There's no fighting over whose family we have to spend the day with. I can watch all the Lifetime Christmas movies I want without being judged. And New Year's? I get to watch the ball drop in my jammies and go to bed right afterwards. (Okay, sure, I bet a lot of couples do that as well.) Suddenly my life isn't looking so bad now, is it?

But, I will confess dear reader, that I do succumb to those moments of loneliness. It's hard not to when you're constantly bombarded with images of happy couples on TV or in magazines. There seems to be this cultural idea that you have to be with someone or else you're just a sad, bitter person waiting for the right one to come along. And while the thought of being surrounded by lots of people gives me anxiety, I do sometimes wish I had that one special person to be with. Now we can cue the montage: decorating the Christmas tree with Bing or Michael Buble crooning in the background. Curled up on the couch under a blanket watching Elf. Ice skating downtown (even though I'm pretty sure I would spend most of my time on my butt on the ice. Oh, but look how cute he is helping me up! And now we giggle and kiss....). Waking up Christmas morning to exchange presents. You get the drift. And it's not to say that I can't do any of those things by myself, and I do. Except the ice skating. But yes, there is something about this time of year that makes me wish I wasn't alone. Perhaps it's all the talk of togetherness and people coming together to spend time with each other. Maybe I watch too many Christmas movies (darn you Hallmark Channel!). Maybe I just give in to the cliché of our society. Who knows.

So, there are pros and cons to being single during the holidays. Truly, most of the time, I love it. I have the cats to keep me company during those Christmas movies, traditions both personal and family that I carry on every year, I've decorated the tree so damn much this year I may never want to do it again (more on that in tomorrow's blog), and I need no excuse to listen to Bing dream about a White Christmas or Michael croon about a Blue one. And once in a while I stop making faces at the jewelry commercials and give a little sigh of regret that there's nobody to leave a Christmas list for. Or more importantly, nobody to spike my hot chocolate for me. Whatever your relationship status, I hope you find peace this season and to remember the grass on your side of the fence is just as green as on the other side.

I love lamp.

Gift Giving

Part of my morning routine these past few weeks is to change the wooden blocks in my countdown Santa to reflect how many days are left until Christmas. With equal parts excitement and dread, I changed those blocks today to read "09." Yes, folks, we are now in the single digits portion of the Countdown to Christmas. When did this happen? It seems like just yesterday I was thinking that I had weeks left to finish my Christmas presents and now I feel like I'm in a scramble, especially since our Family Christmas (Part 1) is this Saturday. Three days away. And now I'm just a few steps away from full-on panic mode when it comes to Christmas present. Like, if one little thing goes wrong I might just scrap the whole idea. Now, there has never been a time in my family, especially as me and my sisters have become adults, where anyone has pressured anyone else in to giving presents. There's been years where I've sworn I would only give the nieces and nephews presents, but inevitably under the tree have been presents for the adults as well. I just can't seem to stop myself.

Now, if there was any year where my family would understand a lack of presents from me, it would be this one. I am currently not working and living off of my student loan refunds as I go to school full time and engage in my Supervised Ministry. (There's a previous blog around this if you missed it and are curious as to that decision.) At first I went back to the stand-by of "presents for kids only." But then I realized that even if I only spent $10 on each niece or nephew, that would be $70 right there. So I decided one day as I was flipping through my The Stitchery catalog that I would cross-stitch mini stockings for everyone and put together little gift bags with candy and homemade Christmas cookies and other as yet to be determined little items. Everyone would get the same thing, but I would get to give presents this year.

Some of the patterns I've been working on

I'm sure you're thinking that I should've just decided to not do Christmas presents this year, and you're probably right. But see, there's a problem: I love giving gifts. I love birthdays or Christmas when I get to purchase something I think the person will like and give it to them. I love the stress of walking in to a store and wandering, some times with an idea or a text from one of my sisters, and sometimes with no clue. I love searching and I really love when I come across something I think they'll like. I love wrapping it and giving it to the person, even as I wonder if they'll actually hate the gift and I'll be "Crazy Aunt Summer who always gives us weird/crappy presents I don't want." So I didn't want to not give presents this year because it would actually ruin Christmas for me. Oh, sure, I can make a Christmas List with the best of them, but I don't ever expect or need presents. It truly is not about the getting but the giving. While I know this year will not be in the Top Ten for present-giving, I still am able to give something. And I love that part of the gift bags will be homemade. I know it's very likely the kids or the men in the family will think my gifts lame or stupid, but I will give them anyway. Gladly.

I'm looking at the time and I really should stop blogging so I can try to work some more on those stockings. I guess my final thought is this: at the end of the day presents aren't the focus of Christmas. Okay, let's be honest, they kind of are. But I don't think in 10 years anyone is going to say "Remember that year Aunt Summer gave us those crappy gift bags?" I hope they'll remember the time spent with family, which we don't get to do that often. They'll remember my mom's lasagna and laughter. Maybe they'll even still have those stockings and the fact that they were made by me will mean something to them. And even if they don't, I can always remind them that Christmas of 2015 was the year Aunt Summer stopped working so she could focus on becoming Pastor Summer. That sometimes sacrifices must be made to follow a calling. That in life some Christmases are better than others, but as long as we're all together there will never be a bad Christmas. That maybe it's not about getting what you want, but the fact that someone loves you enough to give in the first place.